By Stanley Collymore
In the acrimonious and rather imbecilic squabble currently going on about the re-introduction of fox hunting in England and Wales and with both sides engaged in what can best be described as tiresome, bizarre and pontificating acts of one-upmanship while at the same time passing off their personal diatribe as informed debate – which it most certainly isn’t – this is what G. Addison, no gender specified, via Facebook had to say on the matter blithely utilizing the same old tired, lame and utterly discredited argument to substantiate their position: “Fox hunting is an integral part of rural communities. It brings in money and employment to countryside economies. I’m not a fox hunter but I live in rural England and see what benefits it [fox hunting] brings to small towns.”
Let me put forward an equally facetious at best, ludicrous at its most extreme counter-argument to your rank stupidity G.Addison. Paedophilia, just like fox hunting, is similarly dearly loved by the British Establishment, huge numbers of parliamentarians in both houses of parliament, those with their rural mansions, estates and high-status country seats as well as the plethora of plebeians like yourself that fawningly idolize such scumbags. And we’re well aware how attached the latter are to their loathsome pastime never mind the enduring trauma that their insufferable abuse causes to their innocent victims.
So analytically scrutinizing your proposition that fox hunting should continue because there are a sub-species of supposedly Homo sapiens out there that derive sadistic pleasure from murdering in the most barbaric fashion a species of animal that was here on earth long before human beings ever were, absurdly consider it as a sport and make money for themselves and others as a consequence of their malevolent activities associated with it, why don’t you transfer, G. Addison that same and utterly sick rationale to paedophilia per say?
We could employ the same MPs and other parliamentarians in the House of Lords to draw up the required legislation – firmly bearing in mind that several of them are lawyers – have the intensely in favour regime of David Cameron enact the requisite laws and, hey presto, paedophilia would in a jiffy become accepted law and practice in our country. Additionally, these pillars of our society and communities could even propose and have instituted Paedophilia Exclusive and Financial Tax Breaks Zones where those with a propensity for and actively involved in what would undoubtedly cease from being a clandestinely engaged in black-market enterprise and excitedly become for all concerned, and not forgetting George Osborne and the national exchequer as well, an enormously profitable commercial venture also, with all the manifest financial benefits for Britain’s economy, its balance of payments situation, GDP and even the eradication of austerity altogether.
A win-win-situation particularly for those who instinctively and always put profits before probity every time; and with the UK’s national school curriculum expectedly and imaginatively revamped to beneficially inform the nation’s children of the money-making prospects to be advantageously gained from wholeheartedly embracing paedophilia. And who knows G. Addison you might even be able to pleasurably persuade your children and grandchildren to actively take part in this brave new world of Britannia that, given time, you could fondly look back on and sickeningly judge as you and others do with fox hunting as a salient, essential and traditional part of British heritage.