A honeymoon too far

By Stanley Collymore

What on earth did you think you were playing
at shouting out “Yes I do!” embarrassingly
like that, when the vicar conducting
our wedding ceremony asked the
congregation present if there
was anyone who knew of a
just cause or impediment why
we should not lawfully be
joined in matrimony?

It wasn’t either of us, you idiot that
he was questioning; and besides, since
when is a bride-to-be unfortunately
starting her periods on her wedding day
justifiable or even sufficient grounds
for her forthcoming husband to
selfishly and self-centredly
behave in this utterly
unseemly way?

So don’t be surprised to know it goes
without saying that your absolute lack
of consideration, either for me or
my feelings, by what you did completely
ruined what for a new and considerably
optimistic wife should unquestionably
have been the most unforgettable
day of her life. And, I must say,
you certainly managed to do
that, you quite gormless
and insensitive prat!

© Stanley V. Collymore
20 April 2013.


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